I Am The Mole

I hurt.... I hurt worse today. Aching muscles... I had trouble getting in and out of the car! How ridiculous is that...Took Athena and her friend Halley to Olive Garden, the mall and the movies. Olive Garden was delicious as always. The girls thought that it was SOOOOOOOOOOo fancy. Haha. Oh how little they have been exposed to. (wait, I think Olive Garden is fancy too.... dang.) We walked around the mall for a while until the movies started. They saw Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D and I saw Hellboy II. It wasnt bad... the visuals were really nice. But the storyline was crap and the characters were not developed. I wouldnt pay full price to see it, but I do think it should be seen on the big screen.
Also, today was Monday. ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY CAME IN THE MAIL!!!! Honestly, it is the only thing that makes Mondays good. And on the cover this week.... TWILIGHT! That dang series that has ruined my expectations of males forever. Dang you, Stephenie Meyer!!! Hah. So yeah, I'll frame it or something.
Have a great night!!!

My Road Rage Does Not Define Me

Interesting weekend as always. Saturday was the lake picnic where I was commissioned to paint children's faces. With tempra paint. And dollar store paint brushes. I did what I could... after filling up on some of the most delicious rhubarb crumble I have ever had the lake goers took their pontoon boats and connected them all in the middle of the lake. For 6 hours. No bathroom. Or entertainment. Or food. Just me... watching 22+ kids.... floating in the water.... with at least 6 that have boundary problems... oh dear goodness. The parents chatted and sipped wine while I was yelling "Maxwell! You stay by the raft!...No, NOW!... Athena, dont push Gabby off the floaters... Drew, leave her aLONE!" My throat became raw and I'm pretty sure all the parents thought I was a nazi commander. Whatever. At least one of the parents thanked me when it was all done. Kudos to me. Oh, and I finally saw the elusive Kushman boys. The girls took like 20 pics of them with my camera without me knowing. I looked at my memory card and got very confused... haha. They are these brothers about my age (21 and 22) that are the Adonises of the lake. The girls cant stop raving about them and how I MUST meet them! Even Mike kept trying to put me in their path. Fortunately Carrie told me about their bad reputation and I personally dont want anything to do with them. But I guess every year they take the nanny out for a spin around the lake. I actually had a dream last night that when they came to take me for a boat ride I refused and they stabbed me with a knife. Violent dream.... so they were at the lake thing as well. I wasnt all that impressed. Too much talk keeps people from living up to expectations. Oh well. Afterward we brought a bunch of the kids ashore and we played hide-and-go seek tag. Sam and I hid in the jeep and locked the doors. The kids started coming up in droves and banged to be let in, screaming their heads off. It was like that scene in I Am Legend where the zombies attack Will Smith's jeep.... I think I had the same reaction he did....

Today... wow. I knew Carrie was overly cautious, but I didnt know she was a hypochondriac! She made me drive her into the emergency room because she had a cold sore. Granted, we didnt know it WAS a cold sore... the entire way she was sobbing and saying "It must be a sign. If it is a cold sore I am calling off the wedding. I'll have to quit my job... oh my god..." I was like, Whoa lady, quit your job? Because you've never had a cold sore before and god forbid you get one? I've never seen anyone freak out so badly. We got to the hospital and Carrie explains her "condition" to the lady at the counter. The lady, like me, cannot even see said cold sore. She still admits Carrie and we wait only to be told that yes, it isnt impetigo (or whatever Carrie was hoping it would be), it is a cold sore. Carrie broke down and the poor guy just looks at me and asks if she is okay. We go and pick out her prescription... the entire time she complains and acts like her life is over. She proceeds to spend over $50 on makeup to cover it up. And she wont give me $6 to bring her daughter to the movies... good lord, lady. We get back and Mike takes me, Athena and Sam tubing. I havent gone tubing in forever. Last time was at my friend Callie's. This time had the same results.... pain. bruises. lost articles of clothing. found articles of clothing. screaming. But it was SO MUCH FUN! I think Mike thought I was crazy because I kept screaming for the speed boat to go faster. And who fell off the most? Moi. But I was on the right side of the ... I dont know what to call it. It was like a big floaty thing, but it had like seats... you could just sit down and hold on to the sides... but there wasn't much support on the sides. So I guess you are supposed to go counterclockwise around the lake, and that makes the floaty tip to... THE RIGHT! Aw man... there were so many times I was so close.... Mike had never flipped the floaty before... we did this time! Killed his clean record! But it was SO MUCH FUN!!!! And did I mention it was fun? So we go around until I have fallen off to the point of not being able to float and then we go back in. To grab a different floaty. This one you have to lie on your stomach and hold on to handles on the front. Well, I was a little tall for that. So the entire time we're going around my knees are slapping the water dragging me even further into the water. I am so bruised up people are going to start thinking that Mike is beating me. Haha. Between the dog from last week (you can still see the wicked bruises from that one) and the bruises on my legs from tubing, I'm more black and blue than pasty white!
Tomorrow I am taking Athena and one of her friends out for a Girl's Day. We're getting all dressed up (I am doing hair and makeup. Oh joy) and going to Olive Garden for lunch, the mall for shopping and then Journey to the Center of the Earth (well, they are. I'm seeing Hellboy II). Should be fun. Wish me luck!!!!

xoxo

No Witticism Tonight!

Spent the day at the mall with the girls. Roamed around. Originally we were just supposed to go to WalMart and get Sam a bathing suit, but it started pouring out so we went to the mall instead. The girls were quite good, and I let Athena and Audrey play in the kids section of the mall (they have like slides and stuff for them) until they got too tired playing tag. I'm just pumped that they got along at all! Saw Jon at the A&W and showed him my bruises. He one-up'd me by telling me that I got his dog so riled up that it went into his room and tore the back off his Motley Crue tee. Whoops...

Easily Manipulated

The power is back on! Yay Power Guys! I'm so glad it's back. Ugh. Torturous.
Today was... eventful. I took the girls to the mall. Audrey was hard to watch as every two minutes she would wander off or ask when we were going to Libby Lu. Goddamn you, Libby Lu... Anyway. We stopped at a bunch of stores for Sam and Athena (Aero, A&F, Deb, etc) as well as Barnes & Noble for me. I finally picked up the sequel to Twilight. Movie comes out in December... 12.12.08, actually. Easy enough to remember. So halfway through (we havent been to Libby Lu or Limited Too yet) we decide to grab a bite to eat. I go to A&W while the girls go to Taco Bell. I chat it up with the attendant guy and he convinces me to get a milkshake. I wanted to get cheese curds, but he was so sure that I would like the milkshake. I end up going to the counter three more times for random things for the other girls. The last time I am over there, Athena actually has the gumption to come over and whispers "Get his number!" as he was very cute and charming. I told her that it isnt how that works and she walks over to talk to him. I oh so casually throw something shiny on the floor to distract her, grab the french fries for Sam, and bolt out of there. The next ten minutes consist of Sam and Athena looking over at the A&W giggling "He's looking at you and smiling! He's talking to his friends and smiling! Go get his number!" Poor, poor girls. They will be sorely disappointed later in life. They dont know that you have to gauge the situation, and I dont care how many times he looked at me and "smiled"... the guy HAD to have been taken. So all of a sudden I see the one person I never wanted to see again and try to hide my face with my delicious milkshake. Sam notices and goes "Oh shit..." and tells the girls to quiet down. It's the guy from the AllTel booth. I was looking at the phones and ended up with him giving me his number. In case I wanted to know prices. So that was on Saturday. I figured he wouldnt recognize me. But it wouldnt be interesting if that happened, so of course he recognizes me. He walks around the food court looking at my inconspicuous table the entire time. We leave 5 minutes later and wouldnt you know it, he follows us. I hurry the girls to the ladies room and he veers off. So now I cant go to Macy's or Old Navy anymore b/c the booth is RIGHT THERE.... dang it! This crap never happens in Duluth. I dont know if I am just more confident, dont care what others think more here so I let my "real personality" show, or if the ladies of Michigan must be dogs because I aint no ten. We go to Deb and try on prom dresses as we are required to do and then I buy tokens for the girls to go on the carousel. The thing is right in the middle of the mall and it is huge! Me being me, I decide that I want to ride on the ... Okay, so Tom is calling for the fourth time in two hours... on a weeknight... when he knows I have the girls... I'm not answering... Arrugh. Again, none of this in D-Town... what does that mean? Carousel... I ride it. Pick the biggest, ugliest horse there is because I figure he doesnt have a passenger often. Poor horsey... We go to Libby Lu and Athena spends all her money on some glitter stuff. These guys must make a killing! The parents shell out fifty bucks for their spawn to dress up like Hannah Montana and get stickers put on their faces.... GREAT idea.
We go back home and after dinner I take the girls to play tennis. I'm no pro, but I'm not that bad either. Audrey cant hit the ball to save her life so after about 15 mins of playing doubles she sits out to read a book. I try to give Athena and Sam tips and Athena starts really improving. So yay for that! Athena asks me how blind people play tennis. I say that I dont think they really can. She asks if they can play golf. I said maybe. She says that they must be really good at Marco Polo. I stifle a giggle. These girls just pop out quotes left and right. Haha.
I rollerblade (Athena uses the scooter and Sam and Audrey use bikes) over to the park not realizing how steep the hill really is. I see a bridge and hope to God that I can grab the railing to stop. Ha. Hahhahahaha. Oh, silly dreams... I totally biff it and now I'm bruised up and cant move too much without my right shoulder shooting up in pain. But thats not what I'm sad about. I've had these bracelets for a year and they mean a lot to me. They're made from special grass from Africa and they were wicked expensive. Two of them break beyond repair during impact. How, I am not sure. But they do. So now I feel naked without them. Not awesome.
The girls play at the playground for a while until about 9pm. I then take them to the ice cream shoppe, which thinking back on it probably wasnt a good idea, but whatever. So we get there and I buy them sundaes and we sit down and just enjoy each others company for a while. This older lady with two... couldnt have been older than six year olds... starts talking to me and makes the comment "Your children are beautiful." I think I choked on my ice cream because I stuttered out that they werent mine. The lady breathes a sigh of relief and says "Oh thank goodness, because you would have been oh so young." I would have been nine! NINE! I make the joke to myself that I'm looking pretty good for poppin three kids out before I'm 21 and the lady just laughs. Ha. Sure, lady. I'm not even sure that I want kids. I like them, dont get me wrong. But having my own... I dunno.

Have a great night!

I'm Hungry, I'm Dirty, I'm Losing My Mind.... EVERYTHING'S FINE!!!!!

If they could put one thing on my tombstone, it would be Complications.... that word pretty much defines my life. Decided to take Sam to the mall on my day off.... day off. Ha! Good one! So we go shopping with money burning in my pocket. Guess what I get... lunch. Oh, and movie tickets for me and Sam. It was so depressing that we went to see Baby Mama. I'm pretty sure that at one point in my life I claimed that I would rather shoot myself in the foot than go to that movie. Okay, so I might have a limp the rest of my life.

We did what all girls do when going to the mall - we tried on prom dresses at Deb and took pictures of them. SO much fun! I can honestly say that we had a really fun time. I enjoy Sam's company a lot. She's a good kid. She took me to the scary places (Abercrombie & Fitch... Hollister....) and I took her to Hot Topic and Spencers. Oooh, frightening! Again, didnt get anything. Guess I am pickier than I thought.

Shut up, it was a joke.
So we go back to the car so we can end our fun outing. Car wont start. I try it again. A few times. Then it starts to rain. I call my dad and he listens to the grinding noises the poor thing makes. He says it (most likely) isnt my fault. Okay... so now what? The family is over an hour away at the lake house, I've got Sam in my car, I dont know anyone here.... Taxi? Oh no. I do something worse. I have Sam call her mom. Footnote: Mike told me that under no circumstances should I ever talk to Sam's mom. I guess she is Satan in human form or something. I dont know what else to do. Sam's mom comes and picks us up, leaving the P.O.S. in the parking lot. We go back to Sam's house for a little bit. Turns out Sam's mom is totally nice. Whether it is all an act (like Carrie said it would be) or not, I have no idea. But she really did me a favor. She even drove me out of her way back to the house. So she's okay in my book.
Duck deserves to die. I take him out for a bit so he can get some fresh air and he leaps from my hands and hauls ass behind the entertainment center. This thing is huge. No way that I can move it. I try in vain for twenty minutes to get the bird to come out. Finally I decide that he wrote his own death warrant and I am going to take a shower. I go back to my room after my shower to get dressed and go back to the bathroom to put my contacts in. Guinness (the cat) is sitting on the toilet... I apologize for disturbing him, but he looks suspicious. I shoo him out and find that damn duck hiding behind the toilet. Now he's back in his "cage" while I try to keep the cat away from him. I hate him.
It's raining pretty badly. Hope everyone remains safe inside!

Have a great night!

Dont Quite Know

Okay, so has anyone ever been to the Build A Bear workshop? They've got one in the mall, and I'm too freaked out to even look at it. They have these four foot mechanical bears moving like possessed demon toys and it keeps me from walking on the right side of the mall. It's right next to the Disney store and Lids... I want a baseball cap, but not THAT badly... I want Travis' hat. Loved that hat. Hopefully will get to wear it a lot more. But anyway.
Driving was mainly what I did today. They have the weirdest signs and directions. I love the "Bridge May Be Slippery" sign... in the middle of summer. Thanks, guys! I'll be sure to be extra careful. Went to a Meiers (the castoff stepsibling of WalMart) and picked up a bunch of food. Now I shall feast!!!! Bought and tried Coconut Water for the first time. They had it in Spain, but I always got something else. It's not bad, but I could only have a little bit of it at a time. Then went to the mall. Slinked past Build A Bear and got lunch at the A&W. Waaay too much for a burger. I kinda went for the root beer. Big root beer fan. You work at a bar long enough, root beer is a staple, ya know? Got new headphones since the girls broke my last pair. Whatever. They dont need to last too long, so I got a crappy pair. Athena likes them better because they are "prettier". Ooookay. Also purchased something I have needed since school ended - A Belt!!! I left my favorite one in the apartment so I got one for übercheap at Aéropostale. Finally. So now I've been wearing a sweet belt and dont have to hike my pants up every ten minutes because I never eat anymore. Dang this family and their crappy eating habits. Oooh. Right now, I am going to snack on Frosted Mini Wheats that I bought because there IS NO FOOD HERE.
Venting over.
Or is it?
Nah, it really is.
Okay.
Watched Farmer Wants a Wife with the girls today. Sam and Athena are obsessed, and I guess I am a little bit because I wiki the show to see who gets kicked off before we watch it. Didnt get to see The Mole today. A little disappointed. I LOVED that show years ago. But hockey is on, and Michigan is up for the Stanley Cup, so that is all the tv will be turned to. Whatever. I like hockey. Just kinda wanted to watch my show.
Took the girls to the elementary school to play on the playground. They spun me on a tire swing until I begged to get off. This coming from the girl who prides herself on being able to last hours on the Tilt-A-Whirl without a stop. Man, I am off on my game! Speaking of games, also took the girls to a baseball game. Just local, but it was great to see people outside of the house. Talked to this guy for like 20 mins. He said that I should print out business cards and hand them out to people where he lives because everyone over there is rich and looking for a nanny. He even offered me a job to watch his 14 and 11 year olds. Nice guy. Athena watched the entire game looking for guys for me. That girl is adamantly working to get me a boyfriend for the summer. Every five minutes it was "That guy looks like he is your age! Go ask him out!""That guy looks like Zac Efron! Go ask him out!"(which he actually kinda did!) "That guy is great with kids. Go ask him out!""That guy has the same camera as you! Go ask him out!" I'm not sure she even knows how old I am, and considering I look like I am twelve, I'm surprised the guys she is looking for for me dont have braces. Haha. She's a sweetheart. And she is trying. Whatever. I'll humor her.
Sam's mom didnt pick her up this weekend. She tries not to show it, but she was really on edge today and I think that is why. Mike called his ex and told her that he fought her in court to get full custody, and since he doesnt have it she needs to step it up and be with her daughter. I guess she doesnt pick Samuela up often and comes up with excuses. I cant imagine how hard that would be. So Sam's mom called her today and was on the phone just long enough to tell Sam to get off the bus at her house tomorrow. Guess it will just be me and Athena this week. No worries with that. We'll have fun. I gave Sam a hug and told her that I would really miss her this week, which I will. She gave me a sad smile and went to bed (I brought them back after the game past their bedtime...oops!) I just dont know what to do. I adore these girls and hate to see them hurting.
Got some new songs....Sam and Athena wrote down songs they wanted because they got sick of listening to soundtracks. They wanted to hear Boys Like Girls, Rihanna and Metro Station. I threw in a bit of Danity Kane, Chris Brown and Daughtry to make it a full playlist. Sam loves to sing in the car. Athena decided to scream like she was dying while I was driving them back today. I'm jumpy, and I almost swerved. I calmly told her that if she didnt want us to get into an accident to never scream bloody murder ever again. She said there was a bee. Uh oh. A big bee! Oh noes! So yeah. Still alive. Haha
Have to drive Sam in tomorrow super early. Have a great day!!!!

xoxo

Look Dont Touch!

I had to get out of the house today, I was so stir crazy. Went to the mall and just walked around window shopping. If you know me at all, you know that I canNOT window shop. I always have to buy something. Sure, I had no money, but JCPenney preapproves with credit cards.... so yeah. Didnt get one. Willpower! Tried on clothes at a bunch of places for about three hours and came back here. We leave to go to the lake house tonight. It's supposed to rain all this weekend, so I am bringing a deck of cards. Wish they had Phase 10. Fun and long game. It would keep the girls busy... I'll see what I can come up with. I need to buy some food soon so that I can stay alive. They have nothing in the fridge and they rarely eat. Breakfast at 7.30, maybe lunch, and then dinner at seven or eight. No wonder why they are so skinny!!!
Duck is still alive. He's finicky and gaining a bit of weight so I hope he keeps it up. We guess he is about a week and a half old. Must be so lonely and scared... poor thing.
Have a great weekend!!!