My Road Rage Does Not Define Me

Interesting weekend as always. Saturday was the lake picnic where I was commissioned to paint children's faces. With tempra paint. And dollar store paint brushes. I did what I could... after filling up on some of the most delicious rhubarb crumble I have ever had the lake goers took their pontoon boats and connected them all in the middle of the lake. For 6 hours. No bathroom. Or entertainment. Or food. Just me... watching 22+ kids.... floating in the water.... with at least 6 that have boundary problems... oh dear goodness. The parents chatted and sipped wine while I was yelling "Maxwell! You stay by the raft!...No, NOW!... Athena, dont push Gabby off the floaters... Drew, leave her aLONE!" My throat became raw and I'm pretty sure all the parents thought I was a nazi commander. Whatever. At least one of the parents thanked me when it was all done. Kudos to me. Oh, and I finally saw the elusive Kushman boys. The girls took like 20 pics of them with my camera without me knowing. I looked at my memory card and got very confused... haha. They are these brothers about my age (21 and 22) that are the Adonises of the lake. The girls cant stop raving about them and how I MUST meet them! Even Mike kept trying to put me in their path. Fortunately Carrie told me about their bad reputation and I personally dont want anything to do with them. But I guess every year they take the nanny out for a spin around the lake. I actually had a dream last night that when they came to take me for a boat ride I refused and they stabbed me with a knife. Violent dream.... so they were at the lake thing as well. I wasnt all that impressed. Too much talk keeps people from living up to expectations. Oh well. Afterward we brought a bunch of the kids ashore and we played hide-and-go seek tag. Sam and I hid in the jeep and locked the doors. The kids started coming up in droves and banged to be let in, screaming their heads off. It was like that scene in I Am Legend where the zombies attack Will Smith's jeep.... I think I had the same reaction he did....

Today... wow. I knew Carrie was overly cautious, but I didnt know she was a hypochondriac! She made me drive her into the emergency room because she had a cold sore. Granted, we didnt know it WAS a cold sore... the entire way she was sobbing and saying "It must be a sign. If it is a cold sore I am calling off the wedding. I'll have to quit my job... oh my god..." I was like, Whoa lady, quit your job? Because you've never had a cold sore before and god forbid you get one? I've never seen anyone freak out so badly. We got to the hospital and Carrie explains her "condition" to the lady at the counter. The lady, like me, cannot even see said cold sore. She still admits Carrie and we wait only to be told that yes, it isnt impetigo (or whatever Carrie was hoping it would be), it is a cold sore. Carrie broke down and the poor guy just looks at me and asks if she is okay. We go and pick out her prescription... the entire time she complains and acts like her life is over. She proceeds to spend over $50 on makeup to cover it up. And she wont give me $6 to bring her daughter to the movies... good lord, lady. We get back and Mike takes me, Athena and Sam tubing. I havent gone tubing in forever. Last time was at my friend Callie's. This time had the same results.... pain. bruises. lost articles of clothing. found articles of clothing. screaming. But it was SO MUCH FUN! I think Mike thought I was crazy because I kept screaming for the speed boat to go faster. And who fell off the most? Moi. But I was on the right side of the ... I dont know what to call it. It was like a big floaty thing, but it had like seats... you could just sit down and hold on to the sides... but there wasn't much support on the sides. So I guess you are supposed to go counterclockwise around the lake, and that makes the floaty tip to... THE RIGHT! Aw man... there were so many times I was so close.... Mike had never flipped the floaty before... we did this time! Killed his clean record! But it was SO MUCH FUN!!!! And did I mention it was fun? So we go around until I have fallen off to the point of not being able to float and then we go back in. To grab a different floaty. This one you have to lie on your stomach and hold on to handles on the front. Well, I was a little tall for that. So the entire time we're going around my knees are slapping the water dragging me even further into the water. I am so bruised up people are going to start thinking that Mike is beating me. Haha. Between the dog from last week (you can still see the wicked bruises from that one) and the bruises on my legs from tubing, I'm more black and blue than pasty white!
Tomorrow I am taking Athena and one of her friends out for a Girl's Day. We're getting all dressed up (I am doing hair and makeup. Oh joy) and going to Olive Garden for lunch, the mall for shopping and then Journey to the Center of the Earth (well, they are. I'm seeing Hellboy II). Should be fun. Wish me luck!!!!

xoxo