I Try To Be Funny So Someone Finds At Least Something About Me Attractive

Wow. I havent written in here in forever, and I have less than two weeks left. Um... what to say.... it's been good and it has been bad. I had the best time ever with Jon last Sunday. Took me around Grand Rapids and I had so much fun. So that was awesome. Too bad I wont be able to hang out with him anymore. I was really bad, and was supposed to hang out with Creepy Pizza Guy that Sunday, but never called him back... the girls gave me crap today about it. They actually counted down the guys I haven't called back.... six. SIX?!?! Oh my gosh.... that makes me look horrible. Either that, or it makes the guys here look desperate. Haha.
Cant believe I am going to miss the Olympics... I love watching the gymnastics. Not really a summer Olympics fan otherwise. So instead of enjoying routines, I am going to a wedding I dont condone. Finally got an outfit today. It's actually cute! Hoping I will be comfortable in it. We're leaving tomorrow to go up north. I'll let you know more when I have more time... have a great day!

I Eat Applesauce Without A Spoon

Oh my.... I am so lethargic right now... as soon as I sit down I am ready to pass out... and I am getting even more sleep so I am not sure why I am so tired! I'm hoping that if I get to bed as soon as the girls get to bed maybe I can catch up.
Nothing much has happened this week. Fairly uneventful, which I guess is a good thing. I know I'll get enough excitement when I get back home. As much as I love being here and love the girls, if I had the chance I would hop the next boat home. It's time.
I told Athena that she can do anything that she wants when she grows up and I suggested my own dream to her: travel the world. Never stay in one place for a long time. If I could, I would stay in a place just long enough to get comfortable and then hop out of here. I want to live everywhere. Be a wanderer. And go home ever so often, of course.
The other day I took the girls to the pool and had a run in with a creeper. Back in the end of June we took Athena to Pizza Hut for her birthday and I chatted with our server because I had nothing else to do. So I guess he was at the pool and recognized me. I didnt know his face from anyone else's. Hadnt made much of an impression on me, I guess. Anyway, I bring the girls into the pool and hop in the car to get some reading done. After an hour I check up on the Athena and Audrey (Sam is at camp this week) and this guy swims up to me and says "I know this may sound weird, but did I wait on you at Pizza Hut?" I thought about it and said yeah. He GETS OUT OF THE POOL and sits next to me, talking to me for like 20 minutes. He remembers every detail of our last encounter including Athena's name, where I am from and how old I am. Being polite, I talk to him for a bit while watching the girls and finally the pool gets ready to close. I tell the girls to get out and try to hurry them so we can just go, and I get unlucky enough for him to ask me when I'm free and can he have my number. I had no real reason to not give it to him, so I gave it to him. I just really hope he doesnt call. Creeper. Or if anything, we could just hang out..... and that is it. He's nice.... but creepy. What is UP with these Michigan guys?

I Can Blow Up Things With My MIND!

So I figured out why I gained back my Oh My Gosh There Is No Food In This House weight.... they now have a "Jakki" special at the ice cream parlor. I am not joking. Curse you, Little Dipper Ice Cream that is located RIGHT NEXT TO THE HOUSE! And curse your delicious goodness and friendly servers. So the Jakki is a small sundae with a surprise topping. I always get that. Unlike most situations, "Surprise me" is actually okay to say there without getting my hair chopped off 5 more inches than I anticipated. I've gotten everything from caramel to peanut butter/hot fudge (please note that the "hot" fudge is more like room temperature fudge, but I'm not complaining).
Thats it for today!

I Will Never Treat My Kids Like That.

Today I spent the day watching How I Met Your Mother and reading almost due library books. But what really hit me was Athena when she returned today from the lake house. Mike and Carrie dropped off the food to go into the fridge before picking up Audrey and I saw Athena, her face red and tear-streaked. Later, after sending Audrey to bed I had Athena cuddle and talk to me. She started sobbing saying that her dad had told her mom that he didnt love Athena and didnt want to come see her. Carrie had set up the phone so that it was a three way specifically so that Athena could hear his reaction when Carrie asked why he hadn't seen her lately. I thought that this was too cruel for words. What kind of mom, knowing exactly what Athena's dad would say, would set her kid up for that pain? I rocked Athena and brushed away her tears, but my heart was just breaking. I kissed her on the top of her head and told her how wonderful she was, and how so many people love her. She said that her mom had said that Athena wasnt doing well in school so she thought that she wasnt mentally all there. I told Athena that just because a person isnt book smart doesnt mean that they have a disability. I explained to her that she has many friends and she is a wonderful person that will go far in life because of her sweet nature. I told her that she can do whatever she wants, and as long as she is happy she is blessed. I cuddled with her and encouraged her for about an hour before having to tuck her into bed. I sang her the song that my mom used to sing to me (oh god, I'm getting so emotional right now... I just cant do this anymore. She deserves so much better...I miss my parents. Thank you so much for loving me and showing me that) as I gave her a hug, and I heard her get choked up. I dont think her mom ever sang her to sleep. And she certainly would never tuck her into bed. Heck, I still love it when my mom comes and tucks me in! Does that make me a baby? I dont care, I love it! But I dont know what to do... I told her that I will always be there for her, and I mean it. If she ever needs me, some way I will make sure that she is safe. I just want her to be happy. She has already had to deal with so much in life yet she is just an amazing kid...
I have to sleep. If I can.

I'm Sorry..... WHAT?

Finally got to see The Dark Knight. It was pretty much everything I expected it to be. I would absolutely recommend it. Though I hope your experience does not include a screaming baby or obnoxiously loud teenagers. Took Jon with. He was 30 minutes late and we ended up going to a different show. So no points for reliability. Anyway, so we watched the movie and then I got invited to go to Kalamazoo with him. I didnt have anything else to do for the day and I thought it would be fun, so I said sure. Fun as it was, looking back on it I should have said no. Anyway, he talks the entire hour drive there and I just listen to his past antics meanwhile thinking "Oh my gosh... he was one of the guys in high school that I made fun of!" Still it was fun to hear about horrible situations that would never happen to me. And it made the hour go by quite quickly. He made a comment about his mom having called and wanting him to stop by and I was thinking "Oh, we are NOT going to your parents house... that would be more awkward than I could handle." Luckily we just went to DJ and Megan's house. (I went to her parents' house to watch fireworks on the fourth...) Turns out she is pregnant. Congrats to them. So the boys decide that we should do dinner and a movie. We go to Olive Garden and I keep thinking "I cant afford this..." so I just order something small. The entire time I sit in silence as the guys talk about the past and people I do not know and situations I dont find humorous. I keep trying to strike up a conversation with Megan, but nothing is happening. I put in a witty comment here and there, and when I get no response, I have no idea what to do. I've never been not funny before. I'm usually the outgoing one with all the jokes, but they just werent going with it. It made me even more uncomfortable because I didnt know how to act around these guys. After dinner, instead of going to the movie we had just seen the guys decide we should go bowling. Nevermind that I hate bowling. So much. I try getting out of it by saying I dont have socks (yay sandals!) but wouldnt you know it... Megan has socks in her car. Who has socks in their car?!?! We go bowling and I did horrible as always. I even went past the line on the lane and did the splits because it was so slick. I almost couldnt get up again! I had such a hard time getting my footing. And the entire time we are bowling the others arent saying anything. No cheering, no encouraging words, not even joking around. Just waiting for their turn. I was miserable. I kept trying to smile and make do, but by the time we left (11.30 pm) I just wanted to go home. We all ended up going back to DJ and Megan's house and watching the VH1 Tribute to The Who for an hour. The Who? I dont think I recognize anything they play. And they werent even the ones playing! I started to fall asleep on the couch from boredom when I think Jon realized I was either tired or bored and suggested we leave. Again we got along just fine on the way back. I listened to him talk about his ex girlfriends for the entire hour while I braced myself at every red light (I am still freaked out when others drive). My car was at his house because I couldnt leave it at the mall where we had watched the movie so we went back there. I thought I was going to hang out there for a while since he didnt say anything about my leaving and he knew I didnt have to back at any certain time. So I basically stood around while he talked to his roommate and friend for an hour. I was not acknowledged at all, nor introduced to these guys. Eventually I just said that I was going to leave, and grabbed my purse, said thanks for the fun, and left. No walk to the door, no real Cya later, nothing. I even left the two stuffed animals that he won for me at the bowling alley. Though I'm not sure if they were for me... he said "I got these for you", but that was to everyone at the table.... though he was looking at me... he looked at me a lot throughout the night. You know when you feel someone looking at you and you can see out of the corner of your eye... whatever. So I left those there. I get back home at 2.30 and was going to write him a letter saying thanks for all the fun and for taking a poor girl out on the town, so I go to his myspace to find his address or at least his last name. I look at this note that kinda stands out, and he talks about how he hung out with this girl for one night that didnt really have good social skills. This note was written almost right after us hanging out for the first time. All I could think of was Fuck You. You try being thrown into a situation where you know NOBODY and nobody makes any move to talk to you or make you feel even slightly comfortable. No social skills? Thanks for never holding the door open, introducing me to anyone, or asking me what I thought about anything. Some friend. So yeah, I'm a little upset. But at least the movie was good and I have lunch from Olive Garden tomorrow. You learn a little bit more every day, and I have learned a little bit about what my limits are today.
Have a great day!

I'm Huge In China

The past few days have been uneventful. Yesterday Athena and I were watching Tyra and the show was about people who had addictions. One of the guys was addicted to porn. I certainly wasnt going to explain to Athena what porn was, and the show didnt go into details, just said that the guy loved watching videos of porn and loved looking at photos. I thought it had slid past her until after the show Thene looked at me and asked "Why would someone be addicted to corn?" Thank you, innocent minds!
Today I wasnt feeling well so Athena brought me some vanilla yogurt and let me sleep in. What a sweetheart. She also poured me a bowl of my own cereal (probably shouldnt leave the box out...). The girl is adorable and so thoughtful... it's so sad that her parents never show any physical love. She always cuddles up next to me and I shower her with hugs and kisses to the forehead. But her parents always shy away and push her to the side whenever she comes for consolation. I just dont know how a girl treated like that could be so loving.
Didnt get to see The Dark Knight yet. I wanted to go to the Imax and see it but it turns out that it has been sold out for over a month and the next open spot is two weeks from now. Well dang. I guess I'm going to have to go see it with all the other poor fans. I've heard simply amazing things about it, though. Even that it was better than sex. So I really hope to not be disappointed.
I watched Penelope on my laptop today and it inspired me to buy more soundtrack music. I purchased The Fall of Palladio by Kerry Muzzey, A Nice Ride from Seabiscuit, Hero from Kung Fu Panda, Smart Exit from Get Smart, a few songs from Penelope, even some songs from The Sims 2! But my favorite/worst purchase was Casper's Lullaby by James Horner. I absolutely HATE Casper because it makes me so sad. I rarely cry, but this movie makes me sob. So listening to the main song that has so many memories attached to it is pretty harsh to listen to. Unfortunately my stupid brain keeps listening to it on repeat. I'm a glutton for punishment. Here is a link to the song if you dont know it: http://youtube.com/watch?v=_8LZLn3BHBM
Because I didnt go to TDK I gave Jon a call today. He was at the Vans Warped Tour.... lucky. Anyway, I'm going with him sometime tomorrow. Better than going alone!
Have a great day!

I Survived a Japanese Gameshow

The cat.... he clawed me.... and ruined my shirt! One of my favorite shirts!!! So now I'll have to make a pillow out of it or something.... but I became sad. But at least today I had most of the day "off". Athena went to a friend's house and I chatted with Steph and Laura (my roomies next year) and got some reading in. It was nice.
My shirt.....

I Am The Mole

I hurt.... I hurt worse today. Aching muscles... I had trouble getting in and out of the car! How ridiculous is that...Took Athena and her friend Halley to Olive Garden, the mall and the movies. Olive Garden was delicious as always. The girls thought that it was SOOOOOOOOOOo fancy. Haha. Oh how little they have been exposed to. (wait, I think Olive Garden is fancy too.... dang.) We walked around the mall for a while until the movies started. They saw Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D and I saw Hellboy II. It wasnt bad... the visuals were really nice. But the storyline was crap and the characters were not developed. I wouldnt pay full price to see it, but I do think it should be seen on the big screen.
Also, today was Monday. ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY CAME IN THE MAIL!!!! Honestly, it is the only thing that makes Mondays good. And on the cover this week.... TWILIGHT! That dang series that has ruined my expectations of males forever. Dang you, Stephenie Meyer!!! Hah. So yeah, I'll frame it or something.
Have a great night!!!

My Road Rage Does Not Define Me

Interesting weekend as always. Saturday was the lake picnic where I was commissioned to paint children's faces. With tempra paint. And dollar store paint brushes. I did what I could... after filling up on some of the most delicious rhubarb crumble I have ever had the lake goers took their pontoon boats and connected them all in the middle of the lake. For 6 hours. No bathroom. Or entertainment. Or food. Just me... watching 22+ kids.... floating in the water.... with at least 6 that have boundary problems... oh dear goodness. The parents chatted and sipped wine while I was yelling "Maxwell! You stay by the raft!...No, NOW!... Athena, dont push Gabby off the floaters... Drew, leave her aLONE!" My throat became raw and I'm pretty sure all the parents thought I was a nazi commander. Whatever. At least one of the parents thanked me when it was all done. Kudos to me. Oh, and I finally saw the elusive Kushman boys. The girls took like 20 pics of them with my camera without me knowing. I looked at my memory card and got very confused... haha. They are these brothers about my age (21 and 22) that are the Adonises of the lake. The girls cant stop raving about them and how I MUST meet them! Even Mike kept trying to put me in their path. Fortunately Carrie told me about their bad reputation and I personally dont want anything to do with them. But I guess every year they take the nanny out for a spin around the lake. I actually had a dream last night that when they came to take me for a boat ride I refused and they stabbed me with a knife. Violent dream.... so they were at the lake thing as well. I wasnt all that impressed. Too much talk keeps people from living up to expectations. Oh well. Afterward we brought a bunch of the kids ashore and we played hide-and-go seek tag. Sam and I hid in the jeep and locked the doors. The kids started coming up in droves and banged to be let in, screaming their heads off. It was like that scene in I Am Legend where the zombies attack Will Smith's jeep.... I think I had the same reaction he did....

Today... wow. I knew Carrie was overly cautious, but I didnt know she was a hypochondriac! She made me drive her into the emergency room because she had a cold sore. Granted, we didnt know it WAS a cold sore... the entire way she was sobbing and saying "It must be a sign. If it is a cold sore I am calling off the wedding. I'll have to quit my job... oh my god..." I was like, Whoa lady, quit your job? Because you've never had a cold sore before and god forbid you get one? I've never seen anyone freak out so badly. We got to the hospital and Carrie explains her "condition" to the lady at the counter. The lady, like me, cannot even see said cold sore. She still admits Carrie and we wait only to be told that yes, it isnt impetigo (or whatever Carrie was hoping it would be), it is a cold sore. Carrie broke down and the poor guy just looks at me and asks if she is okay. We go and pick out her prescription... the entire time she complains and acts like her life is over. She proceeds to spend over $50 on makeup to cover it up. And she wont give me $6 to bring her daughter to the movies... good lord, lady. We get back and Mike takes me, Athena and Sam tubing. I havent gone tubing in forever. Last time was at my friend Callie's. This time had the same results.... pain. bruises. lost articles of clothing. found articles of clothing. screaming. But it was SO MUCH FUN! I think Mike thought I was crazy because I kept screaming for the speed boat to go faster. And who fell off the most? Moi. But I was on the right side of the ... I dont know what to call it. It was like a big floaty thing, but it had like seats... you could just sit down and hold on to the sides... but there wasn't much support on the sides. So I guess you are supposed to go counterclockwise around the lake, and that makes the floaty tip to... THE RIGHT! Aw man... there were so many times I was so close.... Mike had never flipped the floaty before... we did this time! Killed his clean record! But it was SO MUCH FUN!!!! And did I mention it was fun? So we go around until I have fallen off to the point of not being able to float and then we go back in. To grab a different floaty. This one you have to lie on your stomach and hold on to handles on the front. Well, I was a little tall for that. So the entire time we're going around my knees are slapping the water dragging me even further into the water. I am so bruised up people are going to start thinking that Mike is beating me. Haha. Between the dog from last week (you can still see the wicked bruises from that one) and the bruises on my legs from tubing, I'm more black and blue than pasty white!
Tomorrow I am taking Athena and one of her friends out for a Girl's Day. We're getting all dressed up (I am doing hair and makeup. Oh joy) and going to Olive Garden for lunch, the mall for shopping and then Journey to the Center of the Earth (well, they are. I'm seeing Hellboy II). Should be fun. Wish me luck!!!!

xoxo

I Have Interrogated A Buffet Table

Today I did hair (Sam's took a good two hours to braid).... and watched the best movie ever...and had ice cream.... and went to Mike's birthday party after getting the girls all dressed up to impress their sadistic grandmother that calls me The Nanny and refuses to call me by name even though she knows it...and consoled my girls when their parents took out their wedding stress out on them... and snuggled with them on my bed because they couldnt sleep because their parents were yelling at each other... and got pumped at the prospect of Jennie Flanagan (nee Sundberg) moving to Duluth and possibly letting me watch over their soon to be chitlin... and photoshopped photos so that hopefully you couldnt tell how dark my hair is because I let the girls dye my hair.... sorry Dad! ... and laughed at the package I got from home....much appreciated btw.... and now I'm going to sleep....
Sam spilled spaghetti down her shirt....nice...
Bored with a camera....

Pain....so much pain...

Curse you, sun! The one day you decide to burn me is the one day I wear a top outside with no back and low cut on the front. Owowowowoowowow. God doesnt want me to be tan... he wants me to get skin cancer and regret ever going outside. At least the girls had a fun time today. We did a bunch of work around the house and then got all gussied up to go to the park and take pictures. I let Sam do with me what she wanted, and the result will be shown. Also, the girls dyed my hair last night so it is a wee bit darker. I let them run all over me, I swear. So anyway, we went to the park to take a bunch of fun pictures then came back, made/ate dinner and watched a movie. I braided Sam's hair in a bunch of little braids about 1/4" wide. I think I used.... 15 pony tail holders so far. And I'm maybe a quarter of the way done. Took me an hour and a half. Yikes. But she loves it, so I am going to continue working on it tomorrow. Mike and Carrie took us out for ice cream after dinner, so that was really nice (I paid for my own...). Got Key Lime. Was pretty good! On the way there was when I discovered that I was burnt. Badly. Sam joked that I was finally Caucasian instead of albino. Ha. Good one, Sam. Hope to get the girls to the pool or hiking tomorrow. Either way we need to get out of the house more. Plus I need to stop at Blockbuster and return a movie. JUST RETURN A MOVIE, okay? Dont judge me....
The girls and I are in the middle of watching 28 Days Later. Ha. They are so scared! It is so much fun to see them jump... but they love it. They're always asking to watch scarier and scarier movies. And as their caregiver, am I not required to show them the ways of the world? By watching scary movies they now know to not go into the barn, always make sure the safety is off, and the virgin never dies (incentive!!!)

Watching "Wipeout" Helps Me Get My Weekly Dose Of "Ow...Oh my gosh...oh my god!!!"

Ohhhhh, we were all quite cranky today. I think I even woke up with a headache... bad way to start the day. But everyone was in a bad mood today. We didnt even really do anything because the girls had so much stuff to do. Audrey almost made me crack today. I think I even told her that I was gonna have the next person that talked back to me regret opening their mouth. Oops.
Carrie was supposed to take Athena to see "Hancock" last week and just made good on her promise tonight. Of course Mike freaked out because that meant spending money. I played Life with the kids to try to distract them from their parents screaming at each other upstairs. Afterward Carrie took me aside and warned me that Mike might try to get the girls to become upset. She said that he wont let anybody do anything unless Sam can do it too. She continued to complain about how Mike doesnt want Carrie to do anything with Athena because he doesnt really like her. And she is getting MARRIED to the guy? I just... I just dont get it. I dunno. So because the other girls didnt get to go with, we played Family Feud on the computer together and made popcorn for Wipeout. Hopefully tomorrow goes better

No Witticism Tonight!

Spent the day at the mall with the girls. Roamed around. Originally we were just supposed to go to WalMart and get Sam a bathing suit, but it started pouring out so we went to the mall instead. The girls were quite good, and I let Athena and Audrey play in the kids section of the mall (they have like slides and stuff for them) until they got too tired playing tag. I'm just pumped that they got along at all! Saw Jon at the A&W and showed him my bruises. He one-up'd me by telling me that I got his dog so riled up that it went into his room and tore the back off his Motley Crue tee. Whoops...

I Create Words That People Then Use On A Daily Basis

120 Miles
18 Doctor Who Episodes
3 Ears of Corn
2 Hours of Sleep

.....that pretty much sums up Thursday - Sunday

I knocked Athena out with my chest today. We were joking around and she did the whole Up In My Face thing... .and I meant to chest bump her... but I guess she is shorter than I thought... by quite a bit really. My rack knocked her to the ground. She couldnt stop laughing. Which is good. But not really... so now Athena keeps mocking me and saying that my boobs have fists of fury. Yeah. Right.

I Can Pull Off Mixed Prints

Sooooo......... where to begin? I'm about to pass out quite early, so I had better make this long story quick. Sorry for all who worried... I have a reason that I wasnt on! I'll tell the Brad story first and then the Jon story.
K, so I get over to Brad's house. REALLY nice place, fancy cars in the garage. One of them is a silver Chevy Impala. I was impressed. So it's 2am by the time I get there, and we go into the living room to watch Halloween (the Rob Zombie version). I popped a squat on the couch. Little did poor naive Jakki know... she wanted to hang out, Brad wanted to make out. Being a cuddly person, when Brad scooted over toward me, I didnt protest. It's all in good fun. Until he takes my chin in his hand as asks to kiss me. First of all, I dont think anyone has ever done that to me. Very polite. I'm proud of him. And second, WHAT?!?! When did this turn into a date? I wanted to watch a movie!!! Of course I turned him down, he says "Ouch." but still cuddles. So the entire rest of the movie he's trying to give me back massages while I'm trying to watch the damn movie. But I was so stupid... I think I've just been away from companionship for too long because I dont think I ever blatantly told him to stop. Just pushed him away. And it was a back massage. A good one at that! And I dont get them that often... anyway, I am making excuses. So when the movie is over I pretty much sprint to my car (he walks me to it), say thanks, it was fun, the whole shebang, and haul ass back to the house. I just felt so confused and upset by the whole situation that I took a shower as soon as I returned. I had nothing like that planned in my mind. I mean, he is a good looking guy, but I certainly am not looking for anything right now. I felt like he invited me under false pretenses. But when I asked a few of my guy friends about it, they told me that yeah, it was a date. I just didnt know it. But to them it was obvious. Dang it, dang it, dang it! When did it become so hard to just be friends with people? So yeah. That was that night. Didnt get any sleep at all. And last night I once again got no sleep.
So... Jon's story. K. We were supposed to watch a movie at his house... but now because of the whole Brad thing I was extremely hesitant, like I needed a disclaimer or something. He calls....
Sorry for that break. Just talked on the phone with Jared for an hour. Poor guy is having a really hard day. Anyway... he calls and said that his friend from Kalamazoo was up, so I thought he was going to cancel on me. Instead I end up going with him to his friend's fiance's parent's house to watch fireworks and eat their food (but I was feeling sick so I ate nothing. Lack of sleep does that to me). We watch the fireworks and talk to DJ and his fiance who were both completely nice. Then we went back to Jon's to watch Grindhouse. We get to his front door (he lives with roommates, not his parents. THANK GOD. That was weird with Brad) and I hear shaking going on inside the house. Door opens and this huge black lab bounds out and covers me with puppy kisses. I am enamored with this dog! So (and I feel really bad about this) the entire time he watches the movie and I play with the dog. I am now completely covered in bruises and scratches. But to see a dog again... SO worth it! So anyway, I realize I have no idea how to get back unless it is light out so I end up staying the night. Once again get no sleep because the dog decides that it doesnt want to stop playing. My downfall. I get up at 8.30 because Jon has to go to work and I am so tired that I pass out in my car for a good two hours before I can see well enough to drive. Make it back here safe and sound. So yes, I am alive, and yes, I'm stupid. But I really did need to hang out with other people this weekend, even if it meant uncomfortable situations. Now all I need is a video game session and I'm set for the rest of the month!!!

xoxo

1.30 AM Ramblings

So in the middle of a phone call with Jon (who is coming back from Kalamazoo tomorrow and wanted to know what type of movie I wanted to watch) I get a phone call from Brad. Popular tonight! It's like 1.30 and he wants to know if I still want to come over and watch a movie. I'm like sure, I'm in my pjs, I've been ready to fall asleep for the past hour, lets do this! So now I'm going over to someone that I dont really know's house in the middle of the night with directions I took down with eyeliner because there is no pen. If I dont write tomorrow, it is because I have been kidnapped and killed. And all to watch Halloween. Haha.

xoxo

I'd Be The Best Companion For The Doctor Since Rose Tyler

Today has been filled with people I havent talked to in forever. Awesomeness!
The family left today to go up to the lake house for the fourth. Yay for day off, boo for less pay. Should have asked for a flat rate regardless.... dang it. I guess you just learn. So anyway, I go to Blockbuster to see what Eric is doing or maybe that chick that talked to me about Guitar Hero. Eric isnt there but I see the other guy that I frequently wave to. Never learned his name, but his nametag said Brad, so I'm trusting it. Told him I was looking for something to do and got invited over to his place to watch a movie tomorrow. Sounds fun. I wanted something to do for tonight but I'll take it. Went back to the house and called up Jon from A&W. He is also busy tonight but invited me over tomorrow to watch a movie. Sounds fun. Told him sure without thinking. So now I am going to see two movies tomorrow if I can work it out. Without either guy knowing I am going over to someone else's house to watch another one. Muahahaha.
Also talked to McLane tonight on the phone. He called out of the blue and we chatted for forever. I miss him so much. I'm glad he likes the Main U, but when he said he would have rather been in Duluth last semester my heart just went out to him. We all know that he mainly went down to be with his girlfriend, and she seems like a sweetheart. I just hope she makes him happy. They've been together over a year and I wish them the best. So anyway, we gossip and I find out that Miller rear ended a cop car! Last week! And he didn't call me. I want to find out about this stuff right away! I want my friends reactions to be "Oh crap, I should call Jakki" not "Oh crap, I should call my lawyer." I want to be the first to know!!! So yeah, the car is totaled. But it gets better.... the cop whose car he hit...... it was his first day on the job. SHABAM! Haha. Poor guy. But that story made my day. Sorry Miller! Hope you're okay!

xoxo

I Can Make Uggs Look Good.... I Just Choose Not To

Nothing to report. Rain. Lots and lots of rain. Though I expect many of you are experiencing the same bipolar weather.
Played a bunch of board games and ate flan with Athena. We played a trivia game and she wouldnt give me credit on one answer when I said Mussolini. Turns out I needed his first name as well. Who knows Mussolini's first name? Honestly!
Rain....rain.... go away..... come again after I can find a way to subscribe to PayPerView....

I Eat Watermelon During Pie Eating Contests

Nothing exciting happened today. I guess that is a good and bad thing. Watched Anastasia (one of my FAVORITE movies of all time! I'm just a kid when it comes to movies) with Athena and we sang out hearts out. She loves it when I sing along with Disney movies... she thinks I should be on American Idol. Haha. Cute kid... she also thinks I make an amazing omelet. So obviously she is biased. Took Athena and her friend Taylor to the pool today. Sat there for a while thinking that if they were really my kids, would I be more interested in watching them play in the pool? How do parents do it? Going to swim meets, football games, concerts.... I would be so bored! They say it is different when it is your own, but are they just trying to cover it up? I would want to be supportive, but do you think I could sneak in a Nintendo DS or something and none of the other parents would notice as I try to get the high score during my kid's solo?

I Am The Chosen One

God never intended for me to drive a truck. Especially Mike's truck. It's a beast. Not one of those He Must Be Trying To Compensate For Something trucks. This truck is meant to kill everything in its path. And I had to maneuver it today. I am a Cute Car gal. It is hard enough for me to park your average two seater, much less a normal car. The smaller and lower to the ground the better. I shake just looking at some of those beasts. So yeah.... no trucks for Jakki!
I had an appointment today at two but my car was boxed in. I had Athena call Carrie to see if her car keys were in the house. Carrie had them in her purse (some good it would do me!) and proceeded to give Athena the third degree. Where were we going? Why? What time? Who would be with us? I told her we were going to Hermantown at two for an appointment. She called back about 20 mins later screaming at Athena and calling us liars because Hermantown is in Minnesota (right next to Duluth). Where were we REALLY going? The mall? Bowling? Because we were lying. Turns out my mind switched Hermantown and Hudsonville around and now I was once again this huge liar out to screw Carrie and her family over. I finally decided that this was it. They constantly thought I had lied with no reason to think so. I hadn't lied to them ever before. I had a chat with them after dinner (and before tennis!). Carrie explained that they had been lied to by the other nanny so much that they are now a bit paranoid. She also said that she and Mike thought of me as one of their kids (ooooookay?) and they dont really trust their kids either.... They stated that they were too overprotective and would learn to trust me with time. Not really what I wanted, but I guess I have to go with it. I had told Athena earlier that I might be leaving and she promptly burst into tears. She said that I could live in her room and I could work at the zoo (where did the zoo come from?) and stay with them. It was so endearing. But when I thought about it more, I was really liking the idea of going back home. I really miss my family and while the experience is great, I am strapped for cash. I need to get some income somewhere if I want to do anything at all next year. And it is supposed to be a great movie year next semester. PUMPED!!! WHOOT! So yeah, I guess I just have to go with it right now... But I wasn't sad at the idea of going home.

Jakkicus the Great

I Have Amazing Depth Perception

And now the Weekend Update brought to you by Pillsbury Croissants!
Four days out of the month. Four days I dread more than the dentist, tests, and mushrooms on pizza. Four days... I have to swim in the lake with the kids.
I abhor swimming in the lake. I have never been a great (nor good) swimmer and dont enjoy being in the water. I love a great shower, but that is as far as my water love goes. I even have to wear gloves when doing the dishes so my fingers dont get all raisin-y. So whenever we go up to the lake house, I try to think up excuses not to go in the water. It doesnt help that the girls are practically mermaids. It wouldnt be so bad if I didnt fear fish biting me and my legs getting caught in weeds. I know that those are irrational worries, but just the idea in my head of a fish coming near me makes my pulse race and my Fight or Flight reflex activate. And we all know I wouldnt win in a fight. Plus I hate how I look in a bathing suit, so I'm extremely hesitant to put one on and jump in. At least I have one of those floaty noodles (lovingly coined Samuelson) so I dont drown in a panic when one of the girls comments on the fish she saw swim by.
I spent my "downtime" reading. The one book I had brought with was horrible for me. Maybe you will understand why... here is an excerpt:
' "I dont know. I just - just feel you - bristle when - when someone gets - attention. Why?"
"I - I dont think I - bristle," retorted Glenna.
"Yes - you do. I've felt it - often."'
end excerpt.
Dear God! The hyphens!!! And the book was just filled with them! The characters must have all had speech disorders to be stuttering every freaking second! And my poor head... Every time I saw a hyphen, I paused in my head. That's what you are supposed to do. I think the book took about two hours longer than it should have with pauses alone! Granted, it was a good book. I could relate quite a bit to the main character. She always felt in competition with everyone. Also she had a distorted image of herself. While I do not think I have a misinterpretation of myself in my head, I must say that others think otherwise. I do not think of myself as a person worthy of attention, yet (back home especially) many of my guy friends would like to become more than such. And to be completely honest, I am not sure why. Since they have no interest in me before becoming friends, it surely has to be my personality. Goodness knows it cannot be my looks. Compared to my peers I look like a busty twelve-year-old. Not sure what about my personality would be attractive. But I am an acquired taste. I am sarcastic, to the point, overly playful, somewhat lazy, not extremely talented at anything, highly competitive and sharp tongued. Not many people consider those qualities highly sought after. Haha. And it is funny because there are so many things that I would not put up with in a relationship. Yet I myself am certainly nowhere near perfect. That is one thing that I have learned while here..... things that I would not put up with. Mike and Carrie... how they treat each other. It disgusts me. It would seem to an outsider like they were preparing for a divorce, not marriage. They constantly yell and undermine each other. The way they react to things... it isnt with love or even affection. It is one thing to have different parenting methods. It is another to take everything out on everyone else. I wouldnt be able to handle it. A quick example:
This Friday while Mike was driving the family to the lake house we got into an accident. Firstly you need to know that Sam and I did not have seat belts on and Mike's driving scares me, so I was on edge already. It is hard enough to fit four people (one with hips) in the back seats but nearly impossible when one has to have a booster seat (legally required starting July 1st) . So Sam and I were seatbeltless. We were on the highway and there are cars all around us as it is rush hour. All of a sudden in front of us there is a bumper in the middle of the road. Mike cant swerve because he would hit another car, so he is forced to hit it. It gets stuck underneath the car and we're scraping by still at 80mph. Mike tries to pull over, but the entire time he and Carrie are yelling at each other over whose fault it is. Mike says he cannot pull over far enough, but cannot keep driving otherwise the car will start on fire. The girls, hearing this, burst into tears. Sam literally jumps into my lap and sobs. Carrie yells at Mike for scaring the kids and the arguing continues. All this time nothing is helping the situation. If it were me, the first thing I would do is ask if everyone was alright. Never once was the question posed to the girls. They were so shaken and I'm sure that seeing their mother calm would have helped a lot. I certainly would not have yelled at my husband. It was an accident that nobody was at fault for. Trying to blame him... I would be the one making a joke about it making sure that everyone was safe and sound. It was handled horribly. So yeah, that is something that I would never put up with. They also never show affection for one another. Not even a loving glance. I would need someone that would put his arms around my waist while I am cooking something and tell me how great it smells (even if it reeks, and then I would tease him about it). Mike and Carrie both just come home, eat dinner, watch television, scold the kids and go to bed. I couldnt live my life like that. I would smother my kids with kisses as soon as I got in the door, ask my husband how his day went, turn on music after dinner and dance until my feet hurt. Give a back massage, play with the kids, and watch Wheel of Fortune (God bless you, Vanna White). Every night the kids would go to bed knowing they are loved, not a nuisance. I just dont understand how people can treat each other so. As always, I am reminded how extremely lucky I am to have parents that cared for me and each other.
I had to be sneaky this weekend. As I have stated before, these people dont eat. Especially during the weekends. Breakfast if one is lucky, and lunch OR dinner. So we really eat once a day at around 2pm or 8pm. Normally I bring my own food so that I do not starve but this week I forgot to get something. I had to improvise. Saturday night Sam and Athena slept over at a friend's house and Mike and Carrie went to a neighbor's to get drunk. I knew that the time had come... so I put Audrey to bed and snuck downstairs. I turned on the oven, took the croissant dough out of the fridge, and went to work. After the croissants had been baked, I covertly ran back into my room, all the while holding the pastries like I had captured the heir to the throne. And I ate them all in my attempt to cover my tracks. An entire container of croissant rolls... eaten in one night. Ugh. SO bad! .... but so good....
I am about to fall asleep. So I hope that if you are reading this, you have a superb night. And if you see the guy I'm supposed to fall for, please tell him to hurry up. I'm tired of being so lonely.

xoxo

I dont get lost... I accidentally find new places.

I am finding that good days dont consist of awesome things... they consist of things not going badly. And that's okay.
I am finding that I am more and more excited to go back to school. Never thought I would say that!
The girls think that when I sing I sound like Ariel from the Little Mermaid. Not sure if that is a good thing, but I'll take it.
Let the girls watch The Eye tonight. Had to tuck them all in, check the closets and under the beds. My bad. haha.

I breed prize winning clams.

I decided to crack down and be tough on the girls today. So when Athena and Audrey started fighting, I gave them one warning. The next time I sent them to their rooms until lunch. I gave them another chance. We went to the park and after about 20 minutes some guy with a camera came by. I thought nothing of it. A little bit later, Sam commented on how she thought that the guy was taking photos of us and that every time she looked over at him (he was pretty far away) he turned and looked away. I got the girls out of there ASAP. Didnt want to take any chances. We get back to the house and the girls have a water balloon fight. Athena and Audrey actually start fighting and I once again am forced to send them up to their rooms. Athena said that she hated this summer and it was going to be a horrible one. Ouch. I took that as a direct hit. I know I am supposed to be tough and all, but that hurt. Athena is my favorite and I never thought she would say something like that. Sam and I went out and hit each other with painful missiles of water wrapped in rubber and came back in to make some cocoa. I let the girls out of their rooms to get cocoa even though I had told them that they couldnt have any because of fighting. I am such a pushover. The rest of the day went smoothly. The season finale of Farmer Wants a Wife was tonight and the girls actually started counting down at 9am. They were just so excited. And I kinda was too. We really bonded over that show, silly as it was. Well, we didnt end up watching it together. Sam and Athena went with Mike and Carrie to do laundry over at Mike's mom's and Audrey and I watched it alone. But after the show, Sam ran into the house and screamed "BROOKE WONNNNNNN!" which I had also been surprised by considering she was a long shot toward the end. So the girl that the girls were rooting for was the victor. Awesome.
Divorce has never really affected me. About 95% of my friends parents are still married (though happily I couldnt say) and my own parents get along smashingly. But I saw the affects of divorce tonight with Sam. Mike and Carrie called her out on not going to cheerleading practice on Tuesday. Sam cried for two hours. I sat there with her, trying to calm her down. The entire time Mike and Carrie are verbally just wearing her down and using the 'when I was your age' as well as the 'you dont know how good you have it' and calling her a liar, quitter and annoyance. I just wanted to hold this poor girl in my arms, rock her and tell her that everything is going to be okay. After a lifetime she told Mike and Carrie that her mom had told her that practice had been cancelled. We all knew that Sam's mom doesnt want Sam to do cheerleading anymore because she doesnt want to drive her in to practice (Or so says Mike. I dont want to judge). So Sam tries telling Mike and Carrie how hard it is to have both parents saying the other is wrong and saying horrible things about the other. Last year I guess she was put in the middle when one parent accused the other of not paying their half for cheerleading. Dont know how all that went down, but it sounds like Sam had to deal with a lot of stuff and ended up being the messenger. She is thirteen. She shouldnt have to deal with that! I've known her to be a very strong kid, and she is very caring and loving, and it just killed me to see her break down like this. Carrie and Mike basically told her to suck it up, this stuff happens. After they sent her to bed at midnight, I walked her to her room, held her and told her that we would work it out. She just sobbed and nodded into my shoulder. She was just exhausted and practically passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow. I just couldnt believe the way that Mike was treating her. He was so cold and kept accusing her of stuff and it only made everything worse. I know he means well and he is a good guy, but he has no idea how to handle these situations. The entire time I kept thinking that I would never be able to marry a guy like that. Poor Sam.

Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.

Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh... I want to go home. Is this how people feel when they are on death row? My stomach is so tight and I feel like I cannot breathe. I thought the day was bad, but then it got so much worse.
Today was a hard day because the kids kept fighting, but I thought that it was the end of it. I went to bed and was called out of my room by Mike. He said that he and Carrie needed to talk to me. I had no idea what it was about. He asked me if Sam had come over that weekend. I said that no, she had not. They had explicitly asked me to not have Sam over because her mom is apparently some psycho and will use it against him in court or something... so okay. I didnt have Sam over. They asked me again, if on Saturday had I had Sam over. I said I couldnt remember what I did on Saturday, but Sam did not come over. They said that the neighbors had called them to let them know that Sam came over on Saturday. I said that they must have been mistaken, though I had nobody over. They then played a message on the answering machine. It was from Sam's mom on Saturday asking when to pick Sam up. When I had heard the message originally on Saturday I assumed it was a wrong number but forgot to delete it. Wow. The evidence was stacked against me. I kept proclaiming my innocence, even showing them the entry on here from Saturday (thank god there was nothing negative against them in that one. Haha). I dont think either of them believe me, and I wouldnt believe me either. But now I am so confused... where did all this evidence come from since Sam DIDNT come over? I want to go home... this is so awkward...

I put toe socks on my hands.

Well the family is back. Both Carrie and Mike are sick with (supposed) food poisoning so I entertained the kids. On my day off. Again. Tomorrow we are all going biking. I figure I clocked in eight miles over the past two days. Not bad for someone who hasnt been on a bike in forever. I'm more of a rollerblades girl. But ever since that fall... I'm too scared to go downhill.
My friends and I have been talking about how nobody can get into a relationship over the summer because we know that stuff wont last. A couple made lists of their dream partner. It got me thinking. I mean, I've been attracted to a multitude of guys with various interests and looks... I've never been into a guy who is really into his body. And punctuality is key. I like being the first to things (I'm usually ten minutes early to class and feel like crap if I'm not) and if someone is late it is like a slap in the face to me. Humor is a big thing as well. I have a ... different sense of humor. The same as my dad. I guess what they say is true... you go for a guy like your dad. My Dad has a lot of great qualities, and I wouldnt mind finding someone with them. I dont think I could ever marry someone that my parents and brother didnt approve of. But my Dad's approval means a lot to me. So to illustrate, I'll use some pictures. If you find a guy with even a quarter of these qualities, PLEASE give me a call (Mom, if you say Aaron Brown, I swear I will never speak to you again. Haha.)
The ability to pull of glasses and amazing hair of David Tennant
The comedic timing and brains of Justin Bartha
The quirkyness of Russell Brand
Manners and integrity. Ability to make me laugh. Awesome chef would be a bonus. I love a well made cheesecake. Haha. I dont want the crazy rebel or the captain of the football team. A smart, funny guy that I can bring home to my parents is on the top of the list. I used to think that I wanted to be treated like a princess... I'd just like to be treated with respect. Thats the list!

Have a great night.

On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.

There are no girls in this town. None. It's now a scientific fact. I researched it. The only people I now know are guys. Not that there is anything wrong with that... girls tend to be biatches anyway. Guys dont do drama as much. Nice change. So I have the three guys at the A&W, Tom at the nail place, and now this guy Eric at Blockbuster. Poor Eric... I kinda showed him up today. I know WAAAY too much about movies. And Eric knows it. So he actually had a customer come over and ask ME for recommendations for suspenseful movies. It was fun. She ended up going with Basic. A good classic choice, I believe. So yeah. Only guys. My life is turning into an episode of My Boys. At least it's not The L Word.
MapQuest sucks. I wanted KFC really badly today (I love honey mustard... it sounds so gross... just discovered it last year with my mum. Yummy!) so I mapquested it. Followed all the directions. Said it would take like 5 mins to get there. 15 mins later I am tempted to turn around, only I have no idea where I am and I'm on the highway. Finally get there. Freaked out on the way. But TOTALLY worth it! Haha. Had the guy surprise me. I got like chicken strips or something.
Been free since Thursday. Went to Get Smart. Liked it. Went to Blockbuster and picked up a multitude of dvds.... I have now seen Big Love Season 1, Carnivále Season 1, Rome Season 1, and Newsies again. Also biked 10 miles. Go me!
I feel like Dalek's are chasing me. Bonus points to whoever gets that reference!
Please, entertain me.

xoxo

I made pancakes and bought Jelly Bellies

Really, thats... thats all that happened today.

Yeah.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with startling accuracy.

What is up with Michigan? Have I finally turned pretty or have the guys here just had the same old stuff for too long? Like yesterday... went back to the A&W (not sure if I told this story already...). Talked to the guys at the counter. Ended up getting the number of one of the guys and I got invited to a concert this Friday by a girl named Kate who thought I was pretty cool... Never heard of the band before though. Mindless Self-Indulgence? I dunno, I dont think I will go, but maybe I'll give her a call and invite her to Get Smart. Why not? Also got complimented by the guys at the movies... Took Athena to see The Happening yesterday. I snuck an eleven year old into a rated R movie. WHAT was I thinking? She really wanted to see it so I saw no real problem with it. The reviews said it wasnt scary (they also said it wasnt good) so I thought it would be okay. She freaked out at the previews. Poor Athena had to sit in my lap during the entire movie and would often whimper into my shoulder. Guys, I applaud you if you dont complain when your girl sits on your lap the entire movie. About fifteen minutes in I couldnt feel my legs, much less pay attention to the movie. I found it hilarious, btw. Also went to the movies today. Got to see an advanced screening of The Love Guru. Took Athena to that. I didnt want to go, but it was free and better than sitting around in the house. Plus my dream would be to become a movie reviewer (right after princess or superhero), so that would mean going to movies I didnt want to watch. I had really low expectations (I would much rather Get Smart do well in the box office this weekend as I aDORE Steve Carrell) and it turned out to be quite funny! Offensive and vulgar, but kept the laughs going. For example, here are some quotes I remember:
"Do you want some Quebec Pizza?"
"Whats that?"
"Pop tart and ketchup."

"Dont look at me with that tone of voice or I swear to God I will punch you in your shirt!"

"You're jumpy.... like prison bitch jumpy...

They had a bunch of great one liners. Almost all of them went over Athena's head, thank god. But anyway, her mom insisted we get there an hour early as the seats were first come first serve. Turns out we didnt need to go nearly that early at all, but oh well. So we're standing in line and I'm bored and listening in on other people's conversations. The four guys behind us are just chit chatting and the old lady in front was talking about bodily issues. Oooookay. So we get in and sit down and the four guys in line behind us end up sitting in front of me and Athena. I've got nothing better to do so I try to start up a meaningful conversation with Athena. Do you know how hard it is to talk politics with a kid? Not informed at all. Haha. So there are maybe like 20 people in the theatre at this point with about 50 mins left before the picture. Three of the four guys get up for some odd reason and leave for a bit. I get bored and say to Athena "You know what we should do? Make friends." Immediately the guy in front of me turns around and says "I'll be your friend!" We talk for a good while before his friends come back and then continue the conversation with all. Brad and Andrew (Andrew was the guy I talked to first) talked to me about what to do in Grand Rapids and Married and Married (how they introduced themselves.... not sure how to take that) talked to me about movies. Married number one kept commenting on how I was perfect for this Andrew guy because I love to play poker. Low standards, huh? Haha. He also makes the comment about how he noticed me come in and told the guys to sit by me and Athena. Why do I always make friends with the creepers? But they were a fun bunch to talk to and I didnt give any real info out. Turns out Married No. 1 was born in Minnesota! We talked Ya Sure Ya Betcha for a while to bug his friends. Nice guys. A good distraction for 40+ minutes.

Have a great night!

When bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard.

So today was Fathers' Day. Hope you all did something nice for your Pops. I sent a card, but it probably wont get there until tomorrow. Oops! Sam and I were assigned to make a cake. We had the cake mix... German Chocolate. We were up at the lake house and they dont have a lot of cooking crap there, so after we had already poured the mix into the bowl with water we realized we didnt have a vegetable oil. Oh snap. There were only two types of oil... olive and peanut. We debated and voted on Peanut Oil. Ha. BIG MISTAKE. We tasted the batter and it was HORRIBLE. Liquid nuts. Ick. So we added about a pound of cinnamon to cover our mistake. Michael came in right after that and saw the peanut oil on the counter. He said we shouldnt use it for the cake. We said we couldnt find any veg oil...did he have a suggestion? He voted for Crisco, so we told him that we would use it implying we hadnt used the peanut oil. This was going downhill fast. We made the cake and prayed to all the gods we knew of (Even the Spaghetti one). We doused it in frosting and hoped for the best. Didnt actually turn out that bad. Didnt taste like German chocolate at all, but we blamed the Crisco. Bad Crisco.... haha.
I dont like reading what everyone else is reading, but I've gotten into the Twilight series and now I cant put the second book down. Oh my god, the books make me want someone to push me up against a car and make out with me. They're that good. Action and romance... no WAY should they be under the "teen" literature section. Cant wait until the movie comes out.. 12.12.08! Go figure that the only dates I know are the days movies come out, my birthday, and the Olympics. But if it were to be anyone... So yeah. Girls, you need to read these books. Swoonworthy. Guys, you've got another fake character to live up to... Wiki Edward Cullen and Jacob Black. Le sigh. Haha.

Noches

Of Course You Know!

Dont pretend like you have a clue as to what I do on a daily basis. You have no idea what this is doing to me. I do not LIKE to have to yell at kids. I do not LIKE to hear parents scream at their children. I do not LIKE to see these girls fall apart. But I do not KNOW what else to do. I can hug them, console them, comfort them.... every day I reach a breaking point and I think I might snap. I was not raised like this. I dont think that I ever backtalked to my parents as much as Audrey does. I dont think I ever treated my brother the way Athena treats Audrey. I'm just not used to this.... so please, dont act like I'm on vacation just having a blast. You can come here and try it. See how you fare. I'm doing the best that I can. Are you?

Just Shows How Hard You Have To Fall

I think that I expect too much out of people. I mean, here are Carrie and Mike, preparing to get married in a month, and based off my experience I dont think they should. I was lucky enough to be raised with two parents who loved each other. I honestly dont think I have ever heard them raise their voices to the other. They are just perfect for each other. So when I compare my parents relationship to others around me, they just dont compare. And it sucks because I would LOVE to have what my parents have. But I dont think that it will ever happen. Never fight with someone? How do they do it? I LIKE to fight. I like to get in someone's face and duke it out. I would never do it maliciously, but you know how some people just like to argue? I'm one of those people. And I'm damn good at it, which makes it even more fun. I like to make people have to catch themselves. I guess it isnt fighting though, because that is with the intention of hurting someone... I dunno, I hope you understand what I mean.
So much stuff got fried because of the storm... the washer doesnt work, along with the television upstairs and the fridge is on the fritz. The middle part where the door comes is burning hot all the time and the technician said that they will be able to fix it within two weeks... but we should take everything out of it and unplug it. Do you know how much food needs to be cold? All the good stuff! So now I have no eggs for french toast, no cheese for lasagna, and no milk for lunch. Perfect. I'll just have to make do. That's kinda been the motto this summer.... just make do.
Took the girls out to the store so that Sam could pick up whatever she wanted to drink. It was at this point that I saw how I was going to die... Sam was going to buy a Rockstar and go on an accidental murderous rampage in which I would be on the casualty list. My entire short life flashed before my eyes... In these moments I saw what I loved most... sugar... sugar... sugar... and ponies! It was a great flashback. Haha. Took the girls to the library so that Athena could pick out some more books. She is getting into the Child Called It series and she cant put the books down. Granted, they are amazingly written, but I dont know if they are appropriate for an 11 year old. Not my call. Went to the park and took pictures. The girls just love to model! Sam is so pretty that it is easy to take nice shots of her. And they follow direction really well. Only Audrey complained that she wasnt getting as many shots as the other girls. She probably wasnt, but the girl complains too much anyway. I let it go. Went back to the house and I took out the jello I had made earlier that day and made parfaits with it. They LOVED them! Which, you know, I liked. Athena said that she thought that I was the person with the highest cool factor she knew. I told her that the cooler you are just tells people how hard you will have to fall. I dont think she got it, but I didnt know how else to explain it. She'll understand someday. Watched Farmer Wants a Wife. The girls actually cheered when Brooke got picked for the date. They want her to win so badly because they think that she is the most like me. Ooookay. I guess we have a lot of the same characteristics and beliefs... but she is pretty much a model. Not that I have any problem being me. My confidence here has certainly gone up! Haha. Hard to believe that I have only been here for three weeks... I cannot wait to live with Steph and Querida and Mystery Roomie next semester. If I can make it through this with my patience intact, I can make it through anything!!! Hoping to find an animal shelter to take the girls to tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Have a great night!

Easily Manipulated

The power is back on! Yay Power Guys! I'm so glad it's back. Ugh. Torturous.
Today was... eventful. I took the girls to the mall. Audrey was hard to watch as every two minutes she would wander off or ask when we were going to Libby Lu. Goddamn you, Libby Lu... Anyway. We stopped at a bunch of stores for Sam and Athena (Aero, A&F, Deb, etc) as well as Barnes & Noble for me. I finally picked up the sequel to Twilight. Movie comes out in December... 12.12.08, actually. Easy enough to remember. So halfway through (we havent been to Libby Lu or Limited Too yet) we decide to grab a bite to eat. I go to A&W while the girls go to Taco Bell. I chat it up with the attendant guy and he convinces me to get a milkshake. I wanted to get cheese curds, but he was so sure that I would like the milkshake. I end up going to the counter three more times for random things for the other girls. The last time I am over there, Athena actually has the gumption to come over and whispers "Get his number!" as he was very cute and charming. I told her that it isnt how that works and she walks over to talk to him. I oh so casually throw something shiny on the floor to distract her, grab the french fries for Sam, and bolt out of there. The next ten minutes consist of Sam and Athena looking over at the A&W giggling "He's looking at you and smiling! He's talking to his friends and smiling! Go get his number!" Poor, poor girls. They will be sorely disappointed later in life. They dont know that you have to gauge the situation, and I dont care how many times he looked at me and "smiled"... the guy HAD to have been taken. So all of a sudden I see the one person I never wanted to see again and try to hide my face with my delicious milkshake. Sam notices and goes "Oh shit..." and tells the girls to quiet down. It's the guy from the AllTel booth. I was looking at the phones and ended up with him giving me his number. In case I wanted to know prices. So that was on Saturday. I figured he wouldnt recognize me. But it wouldnt be interesting if that happened, so of course he recognizes me. He walks around the food court looking at my inconspicuous table the entire time. We leave 5 minutes later and wouldnt you know it, he follows us. I hurry the girls to the ladies room and he veers off. So now I cant go to Macy's or Old Navy anymore b/c the booth is RIGHT THERE.... dang it! This crap never happens in Duluth. I dont know if I am just more confident, dont care what others think more here so I let my "real personality" show, or if the ladies of Michigan must be dogs because I aint no ten. We go to Deb and try on prom dresses as we are required to do and then I buy tokens for the girls to go on the carousel. The thing is right in the middle of the mall and it is huge! Me being me, I decide that I want to ride on the ... Okay, so Tom is calling for the fourth time in two hours... on a weeknight... when he knows I have the girls... I'm not answering... Arrugh. Again, none of this in D-Town... what does that mean? Carousel... I ride it. Pick the biggest, ugliest horse there is because I figure he doesnt have a passenger often. Poor horsey... We go to Libby Lu and Athena spends all her money on some glitter stuff. These guys must make a killing! The parents shell out fifty bucks for their spawn to dress up like Hannah Montana and get stickers put on their faces.... GREAT idea.
We go back home and after dinner I take the girls to play tennis. I'm no pro, but I'm not that bad either. Audrey cant hit the ball to save her life so after about 15 mins of playing doubles she sits out to read a book. I try to give Athena and Sam tips and Athena starts really improving. So yay for that! Athena asks me how blind people play tennis. I say that I dont think they really can. She asks if they can play golf. I said maybe. She says that they must be really good at Marco Polo. I stifle a giggle. These girls just pop out quotes left and right. Haha.
I rollerblade (Athena uses the scooter and Sam and Audrey use bikes) over to the park not realizing how steep the hill really is. I see a bridge and hope to God that I can grab the railing to stop. Ha. Hahhahahaha. Oh, silly dreams... I totally biff it and now I'm bruised up and cant move too much without my right shoulder shooting up in pain. But thats not what I'm sad about. I've had these bracelets for a year and they mean a lot to me. They're made from special grass from Africa and they were wicked expensive. Two of them break beyond repair during impact. How, I am not sure. But they do. So now I feel naked without them. Not awesome.
The girls play at the playground for a while until about 9pm. I then take them to the ice cream shoppe, which thinking back on it probably wasnt a good idea, but whatever. So we get there and I buy them sundaes and we sit down and just enjoy each others company for a while. This older lady with two... couldnt have been older than six year olds... starts talking to me and makes the comment "Your children are beautiful." I think I choked on my ice cream because I stuttered out that they werent mine. The lady breathes a sigh of relief and says "Oh thank goodness, because you would have been oh so young." I would have been nine! NINE! I make the joke to myself that I'm looking pretty good for poppin three kids out before I'm 21 and the lady just laughs. Ha. Sure, lady. I'm not even sure that I want kids. I like them, dont get me wrong. But having my own... I dunno.

Have a great night!

NOES!!!!!

There.... is no electricity.... at the house. That means no cooking, no water, no television... no SHOWER... oh God... I NEED to take a shower every morning or I dont wake up... I must have done something horrible to deserve this.... I'm tweakin out... the weather is horrible so the kids have to stay inside... I took them to the library half a block away and they have electricity here. Our neighbor's power has been off since Friday. No shower since Friday... that would be HORRIBLE! I'm comin to the breaking point.... save me.

I'm Hungry, I'm Dirty, I'm Losing My Mind.... EVERYTHING'S FINE!!!!!

If they could put one thing on my tombstone, it would be Complications.... that word pretty much defines my life. Decided to take Sam to the mall on my day off.... day off. Ha! Good one! So we go shopping with money burning in my pocket. Guess what I get... lunch. Oh, and movie tickets for me and Sam. It was so depressing that we went to see Baby Mama. I'm pretty sure that at one point in my life I claimed that I would rather shoot myself in the foot than go to that movie. Okay, so I might have a limp the rest of my life.

We did what all girls do when going to the mall - we tried on prom dresses at Deb and took pictures of them. SO much fun! I can honestly say that we had a really fun time. I enjoy Sam's company a lot. She's a good kid. She took me to the scary places (Abercrombie & Fitch... Hollister....) and I took her to Hot Topic and Spencers. Oooh, frightening! Again, didnt get anything. Guess I am pickier than I thought.

Shut up, it was a joke.
So we go back to the car so we can end our fun outing. Car wont start. I try it again. A few times. Then it starts to rain. I call my dad and he listens to the grinding noises the poor thing makes. He says it (most likely) isnt my fault. Okay... so now what? The family is over an hour away at the lake house, I've got Sam in my car, I dont know anyone here.... Taxi? Oh no. I do something worse. I have Sam call her mom. Footnote: Mike told me that under no circumstances should I ever talk to Sam's mom. I guess she is Satan in human form or something. I dont know what else to do. Sam's mom comes and picks us up, leaving the P.O.S. in the parking lot. We go back to Sam's house for a little bit. Turns out Sam's mom is totally nice. Whether it is all an act (like Carrie said it would be) or not, I have no idea. But she really did me a favor. She even drove me out of her way back to the house. So she's okay in my book.
Duck deserves to die. I take him out for a bit so he can get some fresh air and he leaps from my hands and hauls ass behind the entertainment center. This thing is huge. No way that I can move it. I try in vain for twenty minutes to get the bird to come out. Finally I decide that he wrote his own death warrant and I am going to take a shower. I go back to my room after my shower to get dressed and go back to the bathroom to put my contacts in. Guinness (the cat) is sitting on the toilet... I apologize for disturbing him, but he looks suspicious. I shoo him out and find that damn duck hiding behind the toilet. Now he's back in his "cage" while I try to keep the cat away from him. I hate him.
It's raining pretty badly. Hope everyone remains safe inside!

Have a great night!

RAIN!!!!

It's raining out!!!!!
Yay!
There's a rainbow... sunny yet still thundering. Athena is just loving it. It's keeping her from doing her chores... a bit of a bad thing, but whatever. Supposedly there are tornadoes, but I dont see anything to indicate the likeliness of it. We will probably still be alive tomorrow! Thats good, right?

Sam is sleeping over tonight. She is supposed to be at her mom's this weekend, but she called me and is lonely. Of course I'll let her stay over. We're gonna go to the mall tomorrow and maybe the movies. Hope it turns out to be fun!
So much for a weekend off...